Monday, August 31, 2015
"i am the hole in the doughnut"
I really don't have much to say... Missionary work is missionary work, and we just teach a lot! I'm so blessed! before my mission, I really took the gospel for granted. I never really knew HOW important it was. I always just did the things I needed to do because I was told to do them, but now as I teach people to do these things, I understand the blessings that come from it. The mission has truly blessed and shaped my life, and I feel SO incredible. I love this work.
Sister Miller started driving this week, and I've discovered that I just would so much rather have me always do the driving, because I get SO TENSE when others drive. It's kinda funny. It's not like she's a bad driver either! It just happens!
This past week I was kinda mean to Sister Miller and pretended that I was tired of missionary work, and that I was ready to give up. I did it to see how she would react, because when my trainer did it to me, I was FURIOUS and just walked away from her (Never walk away from your companion, btw, NOT GOOD) It's basically an exercise to help the new missionary understand that we are NEVER alone, even when our companion is being difficult and we feel alone. Ultimately the person we need to rely on is Jesus Christ, and that's exactly what she did. I was so proud of her. She gave me this really awesome pep-talk about how we are representatives of our Savior, and how we are called to the work for a reason, and we should never give up, and it really truly made me teary. Basically she's amazing and I aspire to be her one day.
There are so many characteristics of Christ that I aspire to emulate and master as a person, and as a missionary. I've really been focusing on humility this past week, and I've been very inspired.
In Alma 32, Alma is teaching the people that it’s better to naturally be humble, vs compelled to be humble. Cheryl Brown, in a BYU devotional, gave four simple suggestions on how we can become naturally humbled.
Always be willing to laugh at yourself when you make a mistake.
Write in your journal so that we can begin to notice the Lord’s hand in our lives more often
Show gratitude towards others as we continually learn from them.
Reexamine the fruits of following the Savior
President Kimball said this when asked how to remain humble:
“First you evaluate yourself. What am I? I am the circle. I am the hole in the doughnut. I would be nothing without the Lord. My breath, my hearing, my sight, my locomotion, my everything depends upon the Lord. That is the first step, and then we pray and pray often, and we will not get up from our knees until we have communicated. The line may be down; we may have let it fall to pieces, but I will not get up from my knees until I have established communication. If it is twenty minutes, if it is all night, like Enos… if it takes all day long, you stay on your knees until your un-humbleness has dissipated, until you feel the humble spirit and realize, ‘ I could die this minute if it were not for the Lord’s good grace. I am dependent upon Him – Totally dependent upon Him.’”
I LOVED THIS. Humility isn't something you seek for, it comes as you yield your heart to God. It may be defined as wanting what Heavenly Father wants more than any hope or dream.
Anyways, there's a glimpse of what I'm learning. It's hard to retain all this stuff I'm learning, and I'm so thankful for my study journal! :)
I love you all! Have a good week!
Love, Sister Kirkby